Heiaa♥

You’ve probably seen that some of the other Miss Norway contestants have already started posting on TikTok and other social media platforms. I’ve posted a few things too, all from my small room with the same background, but I haven’t been very consistent. One reason is school, or at least that is what I keep telling myself. But, another reason is that I am a bit scared of not being fully present in the moments I am in.

I’m afraid that I won’t truly be there in the moments I share with my close friends and the people I love and care about. I’ve noticed that when I’m with them and I get a message, I automatically grab my phone to reply and suddenly… I feel myself becoming less present. I just stop being an active listener, it’s like I’m there physically but mentally elsewhere. Even if I hear what’s being said, I’m not fully part of the moment once my phone is in my hand. And that’s something that scares me.

Thinking about that makes me feel guilty and shameful. And the idea that I might have done that sometimes really bothers me. I never want the people around me to feel unseen. That’s also why I haven’t fully started sharing things like “a day in the life of a nursing student and Miss Norway contestant” It’s something I’d love to share and really look forward to. But that’s where I kind of stop myself. It’s hard for me to imagine giving the people close to me, my all while also filming myself. I sometimes feel that it can come across as a bit self centered. I’m not saying this applies to others. I just do not know how I would feel about it, and I am scared of becoming one.

When I see content creators filming "behind the scenes", repeating moments again and again in an attempt to make everything "perfect". I get a little scared I could end up doing the same. And that’s not what I want. I want to enjoy life with the people I love. I don’t want to chase perfection, because life isn’t perfect, and neither are we.

I know I overthink a lot, and people know that about me. It can be both good and bad, but for the most part, overthinking has saved me. It is like being able to see the future in different ways and choosing which path you want to take.  And yes, in this, I should be aware of myself and my actions, but what if the desire for more and the need for perfection just takes over. That is scary.

Filming doesn’t have to mean I stop enjoying the moment or being present with the people around me. I know there are ways to find balance. But I’m not always sure where to start, and sometimes that feels overwhelming. It’s so easy to get caught up in filming and forget to truly live in the moment, and that is exactly what scares me. At the same time, photos and videos let us hold on to memories, even if only for a little while. Maybe it’s about finding a balance. There is such a thin line between capturing a moment and trying to make it perfect, and I worry about losing myself somewhere in between.

This is just some thoughts I wanted to share. And one thing I know for sure, I never want the people around me to feel ignored or unimportant. Because I know how that feels myself.

I’ve been planning to share what "A day in the life of a nursing student and Miss Norway contestant" really looks like, and I think I’m finally ready to start.

It’s coming soon, so stay tuned ≥≤

Lots of love ♥

Can’t wait to see you on my socials

Facebook: Menita Sæthre
Instagram: menita_saethre
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